Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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