I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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