3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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