He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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