Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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