Princesses don't give blow jobs
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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