it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
