Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
