Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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