He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
