good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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