So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
