hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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