Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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