going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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