and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
