True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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