If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize