this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
