Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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