Your dad touched me again.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
