Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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