oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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