I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
