At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
