I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
