I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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