Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
