Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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