Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
