Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
