i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
