so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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