I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
