Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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