scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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