Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize