Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
