just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
