I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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