is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize