Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
