Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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