Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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