update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
