i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
