margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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