Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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