i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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