i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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