If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
