She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
