Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
