i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
