Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
