So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
