Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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