I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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