I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
