I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
