My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is wine microwaveable?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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