If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
