VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
