we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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