i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize