piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
