I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Let's paint friendship bongs
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
