Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize