My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
oh god the rape fog is back!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
