bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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